So another Independence Day came and went and inevitably it always gets me thinking……man i don’t like being around large groups of people.
“But LaRue”…some might say….in whatever language it is that you speak…..”you are a professional musician—you play for large groups of people all the time!!”. But of course I am a Jazz musician so I only play for audiences in the single digit range (is zero a single digit?)
But seriously (actually I was being serious!) it’s different when you are up on a stage. There are usually only 3-5 people up there and all the people are at a distance watching you–court appearances are a lot like that also.
Just last week I was at a concert with my wife and mother . It was a long concert and I realized how scary large groups of people are. Of course it starts out ok—nobody has had a whole lot to drink. It was a Thursday so I imagine most people were coming from work. Unless they work at “Mad Men” they had probably only drank a few beers before heading to the concert.
The first act of the night was Bob Weir. I was never much of a Grateful Dead fan (they call themselves deadheads which just seems silly to me—why not be a GratefulHead?) but Bob Weir was ok. What I found intriguing was how excited a large portion of the audience got when he played a tune they all recognized. It was almost like a chant to rise up and take down the man—or smoke another joint. I’m not really sure—I couldn’t understand anything he sang. I think you have to smoke some before you begin to understand the lyrics.
At some point a couple of girls wearing high-heels teetered past us—at first I thought they were some sort of monsters but then I realized —monsters don’t need purses–they have that handy little pouch in front for lipstick and human leftovers.
(Kangaroos are too monsters—look what he is doing to those poor kids!)
Of course they danced to music the whole night —very dangerous considering the footwear—and sometimes (for no apparent reason) they would make a high pitched squealing sound that actually did sound like a monster. I don’t think they would do that sitting at home by themselves eating Ice Cream and watching American Idol. Of course I could be missing out on something—next time I watch Star Trek I am just going to randomly scream to see if it heightens my enjoyment! (actually I do let out a little giggle every time Jean-Luc Picard appears—he is so dreamy!)
(I think it’s the shaved head that does it for me!)
By the time Wilco got on stage the crowd was very drunk and they were putty in Jeff Tweedy’s hands. If he had asked them to eat their own shoes they would have gladly done it—lack of condiments be damned! Luckily all he wanted from them was to rock—and to eat a sock or two.
Now you might say that going to a 4th of July fireworks show is all-american fun but to me it seems like a scene out of 1984. Let’s all look at representations of bombs and think about how great our country is. Which is all fine—-but can’t I just watch it on TV? I mean —fireworks were great when I was a kid but thanks to Sci-fi movies I can see alien worlds or Dinosaurs or even a pregnant Arnold Schwarzenegger!
or this—
(YIKES—Birth Control is important people!!!)
So unless I have to go play a concert I think I will stay home where I am safe from High-heeled monsters and pregnant Arnolds! One thing I learned from Horror movies is that it’s always safest when you are alone….right????
LaRue Nickelson 